"Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!"
I Samuel 12:16
God has moved so much in my life that He makes His presence undeniable. This summer has been one for the books. The amount of blessings that God has bestowed on me, my family, my friends is astonishing. I don’t mean He’s given us material things. Peace is the most amazing gift. Pure and utter peace. Peace that’s so good that the devil sometimes whispers “is this real? Are you sure? But don’t you still feel the chaos?”
Forgiveness—the act of giving it and receiving it—is something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly done until recently. The process itself is so moving. I’m talking it’s like earthquaking, mountains crumbling, monumental life shifts. The devil doesn’t like God moving like that. He hates it. So, there is that whisper like a slithering snake.
Change is hard. Even change that’s for the better is hard to maintain. It’s work to fix yourself and stay fixed. It’s laboring to not allow old habits back in. It takes dedication and the will to keep trying. It takes hope. While there has been a lot of change happen instantaneously, there are more changes that are going to take some time. There is more fog that has to clear. There are more lights that need to illuminate. God has shown me to have faith in Him that He will sort out the rest. He has shown me to literally rest my head on the scripture: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3: 5-6). Not only will He make my path straight, but He will make the paths of those around me more clear until they rest in Him fully. That’s my job. My job isn’t to force situations. My job isn’t to control. My job is to give the control to Him and just make sure that I am in His will. The rest will most definitely fall into place. If I’ve learned anything this summer it’s that His will is so much better than mine.
The devil tries to consume your mind with the things that you can’t change. He does mine anyway. And sometimes I let him. I’m ashamed to say that even in my Christian walk, I let him. When I come out of those dark places it’s like a hand has pulled me out of the depths of the sea. It reminds me of Peter. I relate to Peter so much. I feel his anger in the moments that he cut off the ear of the Roman soldier. I feel his fear when he denies Christ. The moment that always gets me though is the moment he acted in pure faith and stepped off that boat ONTO the water. Not into. ONTO. He stepped off that boat with rock solid faith that Jesus would keep his feet firm. I have that faith. I believe that God will do the things He says He will. I have seen God move time after time after time. Then, I feel the pull of the water just as Peter did when he let it start pulling him under—when he let that storm rip his gaze from the Lord. I feel that panic set in. I feel that sea overcome even the strongest of faith. I am Peter in those moments. I am so thankful that all I ever have to do is say, “Save me,” and that Hand reaches for me to grasp. In the moments I feel myself go under, it’s like I get just to the brink of succumbing before I utter, “save me.” I wish I was better. I wish I could never break that eye contact. I wish I never let the devil get the best of me. Man oh man I’m grateful that God gives grace when I come crawling back to Him.
Things that I have let go may not come back to me overnight and definitely won’t come back to me in the same ways I had them before. Things that I have set free won’t truly be mine again until God is given access to intervene . All I can do is my part in His plan, and keep the faith in knowing that it is He who is able. All I can pray for is that He moves when He tells me to stand still.
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